Friday, April 10, 2009

Life is Fragile!


Life truly is Fragile! I was reminded of that this week when Jeff and I lost our unborn baby. This was certainly something that I was not expecting. At first, I was so angry. I just could not understand why this had to happen. In fact, I still do not understand the why. I may never understand. My anger quickly turned to grief at the thought of my little baby dying. Even typing the words makes me shudder. Some people make light of miscarriage. They think that because the baby was unborn that it didn't matter. Tell that to my heart. It did matter!!! It was a baby and now it isn't alive anymore. I trust that God is doing a great job with him/her until one day I will see that sweet face for myself. Throughout the ordeal I kept telling God that I just needed Him to be with me. HE WAS and IS!!! I have been having all of the physical things that go along with giving birth I just don't have a bundle of joy to get my mind off of it. Even still, God is with me. He has reminded me of His love through a wonderful boss and co workers who made it possible for me to be off this whole week as I heal physically and who have prayed for me. He allowed one of our precious deacons to bring a delicious meal over to our home. He didn't even knock on the door. He just left it under the car port. No words were said but by his actions, he spoke many. He led someone in my church to make a card and have all of my sweet friends in the childrens dept, youth and team kids to sign it with loving sentiments. God is very real and has shown me Himself over and over this week. I find that I love Him more today than yesterday. I could NOT make it through this grief and pain without Him. He was with me when I told my sweet husband and saw the joy leave his face. Jeff quietly held me in his arms and cried along with me. He was also there when a little 7 year old had to be told that he would no longer be the big brother. He was there too for grandparents as the mourned the loss of a new life. All I know is that God is good all of the time. Sometimes it is hard for me to say that but if we can get ourselves out of the way, we can find it! Please pray for us as we continue to heal physically, emotionally and spiritually! Happy Easter and it is a GOOD FRIDAY!!!

12 comments:

Shonna said...

Praying for you, Jeff, and Will.

Julie said...

I'm so sorry to hear your news. Jeremy and I lost our first baby when I was 8 weeks and it was VERY hard even if it is early on in the pregnancy--it is still a baby. I'll be lifting you up in prayer!!!!!!!

Lori said...

Rebecca,
Believe me, I know, no words of comfort can ease your pain right now except to know that even though it doesn't seem like it, God does have a Master Plan. I hope you can take comfort in the fact the you will see that precious little one again in heaven. You, Jeff, and Will will be in my prayers.

Lori Fuqua

Lori Griffin said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. We love you all and are praying for you!

Anonymous said...

In every generation of believers, God has chosen a few saints who have been specially picked for His glory. We read about such a saint in Job and you, like him, share in the joys of the suffering for Christ. Your joy reminds us all that we indeed serve a living and loving God. I pray that God will strengthen you as you have been hand-picked to lift up this Cross before the world; so that just as Jesus did, you can show this dying world that there is a Peace that passes all understanding and that sustains us through all sufferings. We love you so much!! May the presence of our Lord God embrace you through this time and His arms hug you tight.

Anonymous said...

I still find it hard to believe and I know you do and as I sit here, words seem so very empty. I'm reminded how Bro Jeff said more than once that he never could understand Romans 8:28. I'm sure this is one of those times when all we can do is trust and know that in 2 Cor. 12:9, He said His grace is sufficient. I pray that our Father God will wrap you three precious souls that I love, in His arms of love and draw you ever closer to His bosum and give you the peace that passeth understanding because we will never understand. As you said, you have one waiting in Heaven. Praise God for the healing strength that will give you. I love youall, Anne

Dawn said...

I can relate to your pain and I am lifting you up in my prayers. God is in control, though the devil he can hate us he can NEVER seperate us from the wonderful love and peace of an Almighty Father.
Love and prayers,
Dawn

Robbie ... said...

Praying for you and Jeff while you go through this trial. We may never know the reason for the things that happen to us; but we have a God that we can trust to walk alongside us and see us through it. He is trustworthy in ALL things. Ya'll are special to us! Love you both!

The Clarks said...

Rebecca,
I am so sorry to hear this news! I know that through your faith & prayers, the Lord is going to strengthen you and Jeff to get through this difficult trial. It doesn't matter how far along you are, that was still your precious baby! And it hurts. However, the Lord will uphold you and get you through this. Please know we are praying for your sweet family.

Beth said...

Rebecca,
I am so sorry! I love you and will be praying for you all!!

Anonymous said...

Rebecca, I too am so sad to hear your news. I will lift you, Jeff and Will up in prayer and pray God will give you peace and comfort beyond understanding. Kelley

Mr Ronald Yates said...

Donna, Abi, Evan, and I will add you to our prayer list. Donna says hi and she loves and misses you. She told me she will not go another summer without seeing you. I hope God blesses you and your family with the baby you want.