Through our recent loss I have made many self discoveries with God's help. I will admit that I really let many things bog me down through all of this. I was to the point that I thought God was really mad at me. After speaking to a friend lately and telling her just how I felt, I realized just how silly I sounded. I have always thought of myself as a happy, jolly, friendly person. (some may disagree) However, I had gotten to the point that I had lost all of my joy. I was completely miserable, even before this happened and have discovered that this is not the kind of life I want to live nor the one that God has given me. I know that He is still the same, I had just changed. Through this situation, I now know that I am VERY blessed. Just because bad things happen doesn't mean that God doesn't care about us. I feel that He uses these situations to draw us closer to Him. He wants to be the one to console us and dry our tears. I guess I knew this all along but just have not needed quite that much grace and mercy until now. It would be really hard for me to say that I am glad about the loss of our precious little one, but I am glad that God is still my Father and is still loving me. I find it hard to believe sometimes that He could love someone who was so willing to blame everything on Him. He doesn't deserve my mean words or my cold shoulder or my fist shaking fits that I had with Him. But, as Jeff always says, "He is a mighty big God and He CAN handle anything we throw at Him". Praise Him , I am so glad He does!!!!! After looking at my camera the other day, I noticed many pictures of things, places and friends on my memory card. This was a turning point for me when I began to laugh and smile and remember all of the fun things that my family and I have done the past few months. Some of these are from when we went to Vicksburg over Spring Break to see our dear friends Jose and Karli and some are from my time in Jackson. Jackson is where a co-worker, Heather, and myself had to go to take the state board exam for our dental radiology license. BTW I made a 96% woo hoo!!!!!!!!!! I say all of this to let you know that we should never forget the wonderful little blessings in our life. Thank you Kelley Garner for the inspirational message you left on my last blog. You are absolutely right, there is sun behind the clouds!!!!
The following are pictures from Easter at our house. These people are some of our dearest friends.
Here are two of my most precious blessings EVER!!!!