Monday, December 13, 2010

What's the DEAL with modern medicine?????

Recently I injured my neck by sleeping some crazy way and was told by my doctor that he thinks I have nerve damage. My left arm aches and I have no strength in it. I can barely grip a glass of water. After a preliminary diagnosis, he felt that to really find out for sure if I am destined for surgery, I need to have an MRI. An MRI? OK, No problem!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAHHHHAHAHA Just let me tell you! Perhaps I can get this out without crying. I know that I have been accused of being a touch dramatic but today I am being totally honest about a devastating ordeal. First, I was escorted into the bowels of the hospital for this procedure. It was in the basement, and yes, I do believe that is also where the morgue is. Once I got to my destination, I was told to take off my bra, earrings, rings, tongue rings (of which I had none), navel piercings (of which I also had none!)and anything else I had on my person that was metal. I had really spent time on my hair this morning and had pulled it back on the sides with the two cutest little decorative bobby pins. I was told that YES, that too had to go. So, here I was bra less, earring less and now had two giant bumps on either side of my head thanks to the bobby pins being removed. Once they secured my valuables, they trotted me down the hall. (I should have been blind folded with a cigarette) They placed me on my back with a pillow under my knees. They said this was for comfort!!! (HA!!) Then they tried squeezing all 850 lbs of me into a hole that would only accommodate a small Ethiopian child at best. I thought maybe they had mistaken me for some ground pork and I was going to be shoved into some sausage casing. I should have known I was staring down the barrel of trouble when they handed me a "panic button." I "squoze" the button so hard I am quite sure it will never be the same. The words of my doctor kept ringing in my ears, "Mrs. Taylor, you aren't claustrophobic are you?" Me-"No, of course not". I screamed so loudly that if there were dead people on that wing they may have flinched. The operators took it really well and actually laughed it off and made light of it. They said things like, "No problem" and "happens all the time". I'll just bet they had a good laugh when they saw me leave. They rescheduled me for an open air MRI tomorrow. All I can say is WE SHALL SEE!!!!!!!


Beth said...

The best part for me is when they let me know just how much that procedure is going to cost me!!!!!!!!!!!!!That is the point and time in which I would like to vomit and/or either join the morgue!

Cathy said...

Rebecca, you just won't do! Merry Christmas!! Love, Cathy

Joy said...

I laughed out loud when I read this. Then I read it out loud to Hubble so he could hear how funny you are!!!